Sunday, December 28, 2014

Thanks Tony . . .

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older:

Number 9  -  Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8  -  Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7  -  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6  -  Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart.  If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5  -  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.  Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4  -  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3  -  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2  -  In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1  -  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.  What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

...and as someone recently said to me:

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.